The Greatest Show on Earth

If an outsider were to enter our house, they would feel like they've just entered a 3-ring Circus.  If a stranger sees my flock pile out of our van...they may mistake it for a clown car.  As the ringleader around here, I am constantly trying to keep things running smoothly.  However, despite my best efforts, things often get out of hand.  Most of the time, I have to turn into a referee...rarely do I get to sit back and enjoy the show!

Last night, Cardinal spent the entire evening playing with the little ones.  They were all behaving so well and they were having so much fun!  It didn't take much convincing on their part to talk me into getting them a few little treats for their latest endeavor.

Years ago Cardinal used to produce little "shows"...she'd choreograph them all herself, assigning everyone their own little part in the play.  I really didn't realize what they were up to last night, but just thought they were playing "Circus".  They asked if I would get them popcorn bags and cotton candy.  So off I went, to make my little ones happy!

Hours later, at what should have been bedtime...they all came down to paint clown faces.  As I began to frown upon this brilliant idea, I couldn't help but to smile at how well they were all getting along for once.  I couldn't bring myself up to breaking up their little clown party, so they carried on about their way and not long after, I had four little clowns running around way past their bedtime.

Eagle the Clown

Emu the Clown

Macaw the Clown (she's the crazy one)



Duckling the Evil Clown (don't be fooled by her sweetness)

Soon I was invited to see The Greatest Show on Earth! 

I entered into the room of darkness, with only the shinning spotlights that where dancing in the dark, just like a real circus (thanks to Hawk who was hiding out on the top bunk). 

What is a circus without visiting the concession stand?
I was greeted by the cutest little clown, who was happily selling Cotton Candy...although, he was just as eager to give it away.  Standing next to him was a smililing evil clown, who definately seemed up to no good.  She was very protective of her bags of popcorn, but so long as you did things her way, you were lucky enough to walk away from her stand with a bag to call your own! 

You can't have a Circus without popcorn and cotton candy, and could there be a cuter clown to serve you?

Our Circus even had a McD's on location...how lucky is that!

I think he is daring someone to take his Cotton Candy!



Get your popcorn here....if you DARE!



 I barely made it to my seat before the dancing clowns hit the floor!

I'm not sure this was actually part of the act, but yet more so...just Emu being "Emu"...always looking for trouble!

There was even a Monster Truck show!

Then, the Clown Act....where all the clowns, except for Emu who rode away on his horse, were defeated by the Mighty Evil Clown (well...not really because the real evil clown decided to take a seat and watch the show instead, but thankfully Hawk was able to fill in and the show went on)!
 

Just the Evil Clown, sitting back enjoying the show!

Undefeated...Emu rides away on his horse!

Eagle and The Bee...defeated by the Evil Clown

Macaw and her Mighty Dinosaur....also defeated!

and so the show shall end with a parade of animals...a gift to each of the attending guests!

There it was..."The Greatest Show on Earth"...right in the bedroom of my wee little clowns!  How lucky am I to have such an opportunity awaiting me each and every day...to have these wonderful memories to look back on...for these moments that take my breath away!



New Beginnings

"A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery while on a detour"
Author Unknown




Last weekend was simply amazing, but what could have been the beginning seems to have turned out to be the end.  Not to worry, because with every end comes a new beginning... and the time comes when moving on is the only thing left for you to do. 

I'm the type of person who will give something my all before I ever think about giving up.  I will fight until the bitter end and if I know I'm worthy of something, I won't take anything less!  There are two things in life that I have learned for sure...No matter how rough things get, they always get better and everything happens for a reason!

Things are finally better!  I'm ready to face a few obstacles that I have avoided and I can't wait to have those things past me.  I'm in a good place and I am happy!





 "Happiness has nothing to do with your life's circumstances, its based on your ability to accept the things you are experiencing"

Decision Day

Today was a huge decision day.  Emu went back to his Endocrinologist.  We already had the test results and his diagnosis, so that was no surprise.  Today, was a day of seeing the charts, hearing the facts and getting a thorough explaination of Emu's growth.

Basically...according to the height of myself and Emu's "sperm donor", Emu's projected height is somewhere between 5'4" and 5'6".  However, according to Emu's personal growth pattern, his estimated height is somewhere between 5'2" and 5'4" and this is if ONLY he continues to grow at the same rate he is now.  They know from his bone age scan, that he will NEVER hit a growth spurt like "normal" kids and they don't expect him continue to grow at the same rate he is now...so, it is likely that he may only be at best 5'2" and possibly even shorter than that.  We know that he is growth hormone deficient, but he doesn't qualify as having a growth hormone deficiency.  He still qualifies to receive growth hormone therapy, but it is not guaranteed to work as well as it would if he were in the deficiency category.  The hope is that with growth hormone therapy we can get him to a height of 5'6" but the chances are very slim and the odds are very against him.  To receive the maximum benefit of growth hormone therapy, he would need to recieve the hormone for 8-10 years. 

Growth hormone therapy comes with a hefty price tag, which is why insurance companies generally will not pay for the treatment.  At $250 per injection ($1,750 per week or $91,250 per year) drug companies will often eat this cost in hopes that after treatment appears successful for a particular patient, the insurance company will then cover the course of the remaining treatment. 

After the Dr. gave all of the information a few minutes to "sink" in, she suggested that maybe it would be better to go home and "talk to dad" about it.  I immediately said "dad just left"...then I corrected myself and said "well,  dad is in prison...I mean..." uggh, I thought I was going to cry.  "Can you bounce opinions off of a friend or grandma?  You don't have to make a decision today".  "No, it's ok...none of them know anything about it anyways".

I was most worried about the side effects some of which seemed very serious.  So, we spent some time discussing them and she really put my mind at ease.  Diabetes was one of the main things I was concerned about.  She explained that any of the side effects are just that...a side effect, not an actual developed health condition.  The main side effects are pressure behind the eyes, migraines w/ vomitting, leg pain and diabetes.  These would all immediately stop once the medication is stopped.  Another main side effect is that his hip could repeatedly come out of it's socket...she reassured me that this is extrememly rare and that in 25 years, she has only seen this once.

I hated that Falcon wasn't there.  With no one to veer my opinion and having the weight of the decision on only my shoulders, I decided it best to try and fail rather than not try to do anything at all.  At best he could be 5'6" and at worst he could be 5'2" but I won't know if he would have been any taller, if I didn't try.

It will take a month to get everything approved, then a nurse will come and train me how to give him his injections.  The doctor warns that the initial stage of adjustment is extremely overwhelming but that if we can make it past that, then his shots will just become a daily part of his routine and soon he will know no different.

I hope that I made the right decision...but I guess I don't have anyone to argue me that I didn't.

Time to soar...

It's been a few days since I've blogged....
I've been staying busy, but still thinking....
A LOT!

I've come to realize that Falcon was right, but...shhh, don't tell him.  I never did like admitting when he was right.  But, his decision really was best. 

I can finally lay down my past & forgive and I can only thank him for preparing me & then propelling me into my future.  No one can imagine the things that he was able to help me overcome and while time does not heal all wounds...the right kind of love and trust does!  I will forever be greatful, even though it came at one of life's greatest costs!

Now, my focus is on "me".
First and foremost, I'm not a happy person when my house is not clean and organized....so, I've cleaned and cleaned and cleaned and just about have everything organized once again.  I'm even losing my desire to move, lol. 

I feel better, when I look better...so, last weekend I got my hair cut with the intention of getting my nails done too.  I didn't get my nails done, but so far, just my hair cut has made me feel and look better!  I'll be meeting with my Mary Kay lady very soon and can't wait to restock my make-up bag :) I'm also getting myself back into the gym.  Working out has always been a great stress reliever for me, after all, even Mother Goose needs a break from her flock sometimes and I do have a few pounds I need to lose.

I feel renewed! 

The other day, I let go of the monkey bars.  Today, I continue to move forward because life doesn't wait.
The pages of life just keep on turning
and who knows...

maybe some day,
we'll end up on the same page again.

Today, I hope I let go!

Last night didn't end with the same spirit as my day started with. 

Emu didn't get to go fishing and I didn't get my nails done, but hey...life doesn't usually go the way we plan, right?  But, why does it always feel like I take one step forward and ten steps back...then fall down?

We went to my parents and worked in their yard all day.  I always loved yard work, it was always a good way to get my mind off things and just be free.  It wasn't quite that way yesterday.  The day was filled with constant reminders that did nothing but bring me down.  Each day, I notice more and more the effect this has on us and I learn that it is truly changing who we all are.

Last night ended on a pretty bad note and I was so disappointed in myself for not having a better way with words. It's hard to express myself without such harsh words because I'm starting to feel so angry. 

As I become closer to being able to let it all go, I do feel myself take a tighter grip.  It's kind of like being at the end of the monkey bars...you know you have to let go, so you hold on a little tighter while you gather the strength before you do it.  Today is yet another new day.  I'm taking a deep breath and hope that this is the last painful inhale....today, I hope I let go!