It's amazing how busy one little dove can make you! Wow, there just isn't enough time in my day! We have been blessed with the most FUSSY baby in the universe...but we couldn't love our little fuss-bug any more!
It was discovered that Dove was allergic to dairy when he was two weeks old. So, since I breastfeed, I immediately went on a dairy free diet. Anyone who knows me KNOWS that I LOVE my dairy! I went dairy free without a second thought. It really wasn't too bad for the first two weeks, but it is starting to be a challenge because finding things to eat for breakfast and lunch have been difficult. It will get easier once I familiarize myself with a wider variety of things I can eat and I learn how to do it frugally!
Dove also suffers from reflux. We have known this but at his 2 week check up, we opted to play the waiting game. Wait...and see if it gets better with a few changes. Keeping him upright as much as possible, not allowing the flock to stimulate him at least 20 minutes after he eats, etc. His projectile vomiting has improved with the dairy free diet, but his spitting up has not. He also suffers from apnea and this is getting more frequent. Granted, his breathing alarm has only gone off a handful of times...it has gone off 4 times in the past week, so...I decided enough was enough and we are medicating him for his reflux. I'm hoping this is a short term necessity, as he will be going to a chiropractor and I will be eliminating soy and egg from my diet.
Despite his challenges, he is gaining weight like crazy! Within 2 weeks of being home, he gained more than 2lbs! This is amazing, considering our last two kids have problems with growth! Nice to know that one of the kids can grow at an above average rate! I'm glad we caught his food allergy early and hoping we can get a grip on his reflux before it makes things worse. I get so nervous because he has periodic breathing patterns and with his apnea episodes, I keep thinking about Duckling and her ALTE's, I hope he never suffers from an ALTE!!
We are on the hunt for a new baby carrier. I have always been a devoted Moby user, but it's not working for him. Dove keeps his head tilted back and doesn't like anything covering his head at all. Hopefully, we can find a different carrier that he can adapt to because I'm not able to get much done if I can't wear him!
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Thursday, September 6, 2012
A little White Dove....
We are thrilled to announce the newest little bird to our flock. A little White Dove has arrived. On August 21, 2012 our own little love Dove made his way earth side after 33 hours and 37 minutes of labor!
He's just as perfect and stubborn as can be! Our little love is already 2 weeks old. His birth story will be posted soon.
I have always been so blessed to bounce back immediately after delivery. This time proved no different. After a 4 day hospital stay, we were finally released. We left the hospital at about 4:30. I came home, fixed dinner, cleaned the kitchen, took Cardinal shopping, came home and did a few loads of laundry and got my kids ready for the next day. The next morning I took Cardinal to school and ran a few errands and I haven't stopped since!!
Dove is by far the most sensitive little bird I've ever had yet! This poor little man likes nothing other than gentle snuggles and momma's milk! He is very easily over stimulated so he is proving quite a challenge to satisfy in our house. He has lots of brothers and sisters who love him so much already, but he isn't quite ready for all the hustle and bustle that comes with a big family. He doesn't like noise :/ eekk!!! Anyone who has spent 5 minutes in our house knows it's a very noisy place. Oddly enough, even while he was in the womb, he didn't like noise. He was always being startled by loud noises and he still proves to be no different. He doesn't like being passed around too much, he doesn't like anyone in his face...he doesn't like being swaddled and he hates my moby wrap. He hates the heat, his bouncy seat, his stroller and bumpy car rides and he hates being put down. It sure doesn't take much to overstimulate him and just the slightest bit of over stimulation makes him puke.
At his 1 week check up, he was having some issues. Thanks to an over active let down, he had some struggles with nursing. He coughed, gagged and choked down his milk and then he'd throw some back up and he'd cough, gag and choke on that too. His eyes were very gunky and we were a bit concerned that his first night home, his breathing monitor went off. With some tips to help him with my over abundance of milk we scheduled an appointment for a check up the following week.
Despite his chronic fussiness and an infected umbilicus, he is doing quite well. He is nursing like a champ, he has adjusted very well to his bountiful milk supply and he is gaining weight like it's nobody's business putting on 1/2 oz to 1 oz a day!
It still seems so surreal! Already, I can't imagine our lives without him. He has brought a new closeness between Falcon and I, he is such a symbol of our love and he's perfect in every way! He has made our journey together so much more exciting....and so many times already, he has taken my breath away!
I have always been so blessed to bounce back immediately after delivery. This time proved no different. After a 4 day hospital stay, we were finally released. We left the hospital at about 4:30. I came home, fixed dinner, cleaned the kitchen, took Cardinal shopping, came home and did a few loads of laundry and got my kids ready for the next day. The next morning I took Cardinal to school and ran a few errands and I haven't stopped since!!
Dove is by far the most sensitive little bird I've ever had yet! This poor little man likes nothing other than gentle snuggles and momma's milk! He is very easily over stimulated so he is proving quite a challenge to satisfy in our house. He has lots of brothers and sisters who love him so much already, but he isn't quite ready for all the hustle and bustle that comes with a big family. He doesn't like noise :/ eekk!!! Anyone who has spent 5 minutes in our house knows it's a very noisy place. Oddly enough, even while he was in the womb, he didn't like noise. He was always being startled by loud noises and he still proves to be no different. He doesn't like being passed around too much, he doesn't like anyone in his face...he doesn't like being swaddled and he hates my moby wrap. He hates the heat, his bouncy seat, his stroller and bumpy car rides and he hates being put down. It sure doesn't take much to overstimulate him and just the slightest bit of over stimulation makes him puke.
At his 1 week check up, he was having some issues. Thanks to an over active let down, he had some struggles with nursing. He coughed, gagged and choked down his milk and then he'd throw some back up and he'd cough, gag and choke on that too. His eyes were very gunky and we were a bit concerned that his first night home, his breathing monitor went off. With some tips to help him with my over abundance of milk we scheduled an appointment for a check up the following week.
Despite his chronic fussiness and an infected umbilicus, he is doing quite well. He is nursing like a champ, he has adjusted very well to his bountiful milk supply and he is gaining weight like it's nobody's business putting on 1/2 oz to 1 oz a day!
It still seems so surreal! Already, I can't imagine our lives without him. He has brought a new closeness between Falcon and I, he is such a symbol of our love and he's perfect in every way! He has made our journey together so much more exciting....and so many times already, he has taken my breath away!
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Pregnancy update
I haven't been one to update on my pregnancy on here...our little one has his own blog and I blog about him there and with as busy as things are here, I just haven't had much time to blog at all. Things have been VERY hectic just trying to get things settled and ready for the baby and getting things organized for school...oh, it's been quite overwhelming to say the least!
So, here we are nearing 39 weeks in my pregnancy. I have truly felt amazing (pregnancy wise) with this pregnancy. I have been "not so blessed" with not having my usual groin pain associated with SPD. I had a feeling I'd be doomed at the end, since everything was going so well, something "had" to go wrong, cause that is just how my cookies always crumble!
I went in for my 39 week OB checkup. The midwife I saw was amazing...and honest! Long story short...they did an ultrasound to confirm suspicion that our little guy was breech and sure enough he was. He has been quite content hanging out in his normal transverse position, but as he decided to go vertical, he went the wrong way! Unfortunately, this group will NOT deliver a breech baby vaginally!
I was given two choices. Choice one an ECV & induction. Choice two going into labor on my own, but if he is not head down when I go in, i will automatically be given a c-section.
An external version (ECV) to attempt to turn him. This procedure would result in either an emergency c-section or a successful turn at which point I would then be induced. I had high hopes of a completely natural birth this time, as I have been induced every time and anyone who has ever been given pitocin, knows it sucks! What I didn't know is all the reasons why pitocin labors are so much worse than natural labors...but Pitocin does not cross the blood-brain barrier; therefore, endorphins are not released in response to the increasingly strong and painful uterine contractions. Laboring women do not experience the benefits of endorphins as they try to manage their contractions. Additionally, without the help of endorphins, they are likely to require an epidural. This article explains inductions and the use of pitocin quite well.
Now, I have labored three times with pitocin with no pain medication and let me tell you, there is NO worse pain. I have always had proper support of a doula and the pain was managable through her pain management techniques. I didn't have any options for my last birth and I was able to manage with the skills I had learned...but I am terrified of going into yet another labor with no support (with or without an induction). My body does not respond well to epidurals, so I don't see an epidural as an option.
I also have a third option, as I happen to have a friend who is a homebirth midwife who has been so wonderful to answer my million questions and she is willing to help us with our birth. I'm no stranger to the safety of hombirthing, as Duckling was a planned homebirth, but due to the circumstances (my husband was arrested near that time and his indictment was scheduled for raping one of my children) that surrounded the time of her birth, it was deemed safer for us to deliver in a hospital where there was proper security for us. It angers me, the number of people who feel that I "HAVE" to have my baby in a hospital because it is safer because that is so far from the truth!!!
I am very much struggling with the decision I am facing...and I am pressured by the time restraints I have to make my decision. There are two doctors in the group that are able to do an ECV. In order to get the one who has the best success rate, I have to do it next week. If I forgo that opportunity, my risk of a c section goes way up because if the baby doesn't turn on his own, then unless I do a homebirth, i am facing a certain c-section. Also, with my OB group, I will reach a cutoff at 42 weeks, at which time if I have not gone into labor on my own, I will only have the option of an induction or a homebirth. Considering two of my kids have been induced just shy of 42 weeks, I feel my chances of meeting that cutoff are highly unlikely. There is a "chance" that the baby will turn, though it is unlikely. While an old OB would confidently and comfortably deliver a breech baby for me (as, i have had two fairly large babies and he once told me he would have no concerns about my ability to deliver a breech baby)...I must admit, I would be nervous about delivering a breech baby past 42 weeks as then i am looking at the possibility of delivering a baby over 9lbs.
I have decided to visit a chiropractor who can perform the Webster Technique in hopes to encourage the baby to turn on his own. This technique is successful 66-68% of the time, when done 2-3 times a week for a few weeks. I felt confident before making the appointment, but I must say after speaking directly with the chiropractor who will be doing the procedure and with more thought, I'm just not feeling as reassured by this method this late in the game. To add to this problem...the baby isn't just staying in his breech position, he moves several times a day. I'm not convinced that getting him head down is going to keep him head down and I just don't know if this is something I want to gamble.
I have never been more torn about a decision!
So, here we are nearing 39 weeks in my pregnancy. I have truly felt amazing (pregnancy wise) with this pregnancy. I have been "not so blessed" with not having my usual groin pain associated with SPD. I had a feeling I'd be doomed at the end, since everything was going so well, something "had" to go wrong, cause that is just how my cookies always crumble!
I went in for my 39 week OB checkup. The midwife I saw was amazing...and honest! Long story short...they did an ultrasound to confirm suspicion that our little guy was breech and sure enough he was. He has been quite content hanging out in his normal transverse position, but as he decided to go vertical, he went the wrong way! Unfortunately, this group will NOT deliver a breech baby vaginally!
I was given two choices. Choice one an ECV & induction. Choice two going into labor on my own, but if he is not head down when I go in, i will automatically be given a c-section.
An external version (ECV) to attempt to turn him. This procedure would result in either an emergency c-section or a successful turn at which point I would then be induced. I had high hopes of a completely natural birth this time, as I have been induced every time and anyone who has ever been given pitocin, knows it sucks! What I didn't know is all the reasons why pitocin labors are so much worse than natural labors...but Pitocin does not cross the blood-brain barrier; therefore, endorphins are not released in response to the increasingly strong and painful uterine contractions. Laboring women do not experience the benefits of endorphins as they try to manage their contractions. Additionally, without the help of endorphins, they are likely to require an epidural. This article explains inductions and the use of pitocin quite well.
Now, I have labored three times with pitocin with no pain medication and let me tell you, there is NO worse pain. I have always had proper support of a doula and the pain was managable through her pain management techniques. I didn't have any options for my last birth and I was able to manage with the skills I had learned...but I am terrified of going into yet another labor with no support (with or without an induction). My body does not respond well to epidurals, so I don't see an epidural as an option.
I also have a third option, as I happen to have a friend who is a homebirth midwife who has been so wonderful to answer my million questions and she is willing to help us with our birth. I'm no stranger to the safety of hombirthing, as Duckling was a planned homebirth, but due to the circumstances (my husband was arrested near that time and his indictment was scheduled for raping one of my children) that surrounded the time of her birth, it was deemed safer for us to deliver in a hospital where there was proper security for us. It angers me, the number of people who feel that I "HAVE" to have my baby in a hospital because it is safer because that is so far from the truth!!!
I am very much struggling with the decision I am facing...and I am pressured by the time restraints I have to make my decision. There are two doctors in the group that are able to do an ECV. In order to get the one who has the best success rate, I have to do it next week. If I forgo that opportunity, my risk of a c section goes way up because if the baby doesn't turn on his own, then unless I do a homebirth, i am facing a certain c-section. Also, with my OB group, I will reach a cutoff at 42 weeks, at which time if I have not gone into labor on my own, I will only have the option of an induction or a homebirth. Considering two of my kids have been induced just shy of 42 weeks, I feel my chances of meeting that cutoff are highly unlikely. There is a "chance" that the baby will turn, though it is unlikely. While an old OB would confidently and comfortably deliver a breech baby for me (as, i have had two fairly large babies and he once told me he would have no concerns about my ability to deliver a breech baby)...I must admit, I would be nervous about delivering a breech baby past 42 weeks as then i am looking at the possibility of delivering a baby over 9lbs.
I have decided to visit a chiropractor who can perform the Webster Technique in hopes to encourage the baby to turn on his own. This technique is successful 66-68% of the time, when done 2-3 times a week for a few weeks. I felt confident before making the appointment, but I must say after speaking directly with the chiropractor who will be doing the procedure and with more thought, I'm just not feeling as reassured by this method this late in the game. To add to this problem...the baby isn't just staying in his breech position, he moves several times a day. I'm not convinced that getting him head down is going to keep him head down and I just don't know if this is something I want to gamble.
I have never been more torn about a decision!
Friday, August 10, 2012
Breast is best...Saving $$ on Baby - Tip #2
There is nothing better than doing what's best for your baby...but the deal is a little sweeter when it also saves you $$
I have proudly provided natures best for my children for more than a decade, yep...I have been a breastfeeding mother non-stop for the past 14 years! Ever since the day I first became a mother! I never had any intention of nursing my children as long as I have, but my first child easily roped me into child led weaning and well..the rest is history!
I have a wide range of experience with breastfeeding. I have nursed through 7 pregnancies...I have had single nurslings, I have tandem nursed and I have triandem nursed. I have had a minimal amount of problems and we have successfully worked through them all. All of my children have been blessed with the gift of natural child led weaning. My youngest to wean did so just after his first birthday...my oldest to wean was around 4 1/2. I am currently weeks away from delivering baby number 7 and I wonder everyday if his 4 1/2 year old sister will be fully weaned before he is born! We've put up with a lot of disapproval with our philosophy of natural weaning and we catch the most grief from Falcon. Most people are not even aware that Duckling is still quite fond of her "Tatas" and most people who catch word of it imagine a half grown child oddly attached to my breast all day. I've given up on trying to explain myself and my child to others as our society just doesn't understand the concept. Truth is, Duckling doesn't nurse every day, but yet maybe a few times a week or even less and when she does nurse, she only nurses for a minute or so...most often she comes in my bed for her morning snuggles and drifts back to sleep at the breast and later isn't even aware she already had her morning tata. She very rarely asks for it outside of the start to her day.
I didn't even know anything about child led weaning. I had hoped that my first child, Cardinal, would nurse for a year, that was our goal. When she was 5 months old, I got pregnant with Hawk. My OB assured me that it was fine to continue nursing her during my pregnancy and he assumed she would wean on her own before I delivered my second baby. Nope...she kept right on going and was still nursing when I delivered Hawk. I tandem nursed both of them until Hawk, age 3 weaned right after I delivered Eagle. So, I then tandem nursed Cardinal and Eagle until Cardinal weaned at around age 4 1/2. Eagle continued to nurse through my next pregnancy and after Macaw was born they tandem nursed until Eagle weaned at age 3. I very quickly got pregnant and Macaw nursed through that pregnancy and then tandem nursed with Emu. They both were still nursing when I delivered Duckling...and so the world of triandem nursing begun for us. It was very short lived, as Emu weaned within a few months of Duckling being born and then Macaw and Duckling tandem nursed until Macaw weaned at aroung age 4-4 1/2. Duckling is so very close to being completely weaned and her new baby brother is due to arrive anytime now.
Friday, August 3, 2012
How DO we DO IT????!!!
I can't tell you how many people say to me "I don't know how you do it"!
My answer is always..."I just do".
Truth
is, I try to be frugal and make anything and everything I can. If we
need something, I search high and low to find it used before I ever
think about walking into a retail store and I will search online for a
deal before I even do that.
I went shopping the other day and ran into a really great sale, everything was at least 50% off so I headed to the baby department. I found some fleece sleeper bags...for $10. WOW!!! I don't mean the "wow, what a deal kinda wow"! I mean the "holy cow I could get this at a resale shop for $3 wow". As a matter of fact, I came home and found one with a $0.50 price tag from a garage sale. Not that I have never seen the day when I did pay $20 for those things because not only have I paid that much but at the time I'm sure I picked up more than a few at at a time at that outrageous price but now anything more than $5 is just unfathomable to me!
We are comfortably raising a soon to be family of 9 on an income that is well below poverty level. We still have nice things and our children don't go without. I'm always happy to share different ways we are frugal and how we save money...or as others say "how we do it"!
With the upcoming birth of a new baby in our house...right now, I am concentrating on frugal tips and ways to save $ when it comes to baby. Babies CAN be very expensive...but they don't HAVE to be!!
I went shopping the other day and ran into a really great sale, everything was at least 50% off so I headed to the baby department. I found some fleece sleeper bags...for $10. WOW!!! I don't mean the "wow, what a deal kinda wow"! I mean the "holy cow I could get this at a resale shop for $3 wow". As a matter of fact, I came home and found one with a $0.50 price tag from a garage sale. Not that I have never seen the day when I did pay $20 for those things because not only have I paid that much but at the time I'm sure I picked up more than a few at at a time at that outrageous price but now anything more than $5 is just unfathomable to me!
We are comfortably raising a soon to be family of 9 on an income that is well below poverty level. We still have nice things and our children don't go without. I'm always happy to share different ways we are frugal and how we save money...or as others say "how we do it"!
With the upcoming birth of a new baby in our house...right now, I am concentrating on frugal tips and ways to save $ when it comes to baby. Babies CAN be very expensive...but they don't HAVE to be!!
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Saving $$ on Baby...Tip #1
Use CLOTH!
4 1/2 years ago, I became a cloth diaper lover! At the time, I had a newborn, 1 and 2 year old in diapers. I had just become a single mom and I was spending about $50-75 a week on diapers and wipes. It was a huge expense (about $400) but it was the best investment I ever made but it was the last time I spent money on diapers until all of them were potty trained. I must admit, I didn't make the switch to cloth because I was concerned about the environment, I really needed to do it to cut costs but I became addicted to cloth diapering.
Friends call me crazy, but I have been so excited about building a new cloth diaper stash for our new little man. At first I was very bummed about giving away my old stash, but I quickly got over that as I became even more addicted to those adorable cloth! I even got Falcon addicted :) Our stash is kept in a dresser. So, what's all the hype and how much did all this cost this time around.
We ordered 10 nb Alva Pocket diapers (fits up to 12lbs), 10 one size Alva Pocket diapers (fits 12lbs to potty trained), 10 extra bamboo/microfiber inserts and a small wet bag for our diaper bag and we spent about $140.
We either got as a gift or used a gift certificate for 16 prefold diapers (like grandma used to use) and 6 Trend Lab pocket diapers. So our cost...
$0
We purchased used...2 xs Bum Genius all in ones, 5 nb Lil' Joey's all in ones, 2 fleece covers and 1 knitted cover and 2 kissaluv fitteds. We spent about
$75
We also purchased 6 Gerber diaper covers, diaper pins, fleece fabric (which I was going to use as wipes originally and for $6.00 it made 42 wipes) and 10 receiving blankets (pd $3.10 and they made 114 wipes) and misc. spray bottles and containers for our wipe solution. We spent approx.
$15
So, our out of pocket expense for a lifetime of diapers and wipes...
$230 (about $100 more to = $330 if you count the gifted ones). The resale of the diapers is very high, so we expect to recoup most of our cost for the diapers, if we are ever willing to let them go.
Here's what our stash looks like...
We have purchased a few more diapers thru a co-op, but we only spent $20 more. We have more than enough diapers for our little guy and we can't wait to use them! So...
$330 from birth till he is potty trained...that's one of the ways we "do it"!
We ordered 10 nb Alva Pocket diapers (fits up to 12lbs), 10 one size Alva Pocket diapers (fits 12lbs to potty trained), 10 extra bamboo/microfiber inserts and a small wet bag for our diaper bag and we spent about $140.
We either got as a gift or used a gift certificate for 16 prefold diapers (like grandma used to use) and 6 Trend Lab pocket diapers. So our cost...
$0
We purchased used...2 xs Bum Genius all in ones, 5 nb Lil' Joey's all in ones, 2 fleece covers and 1 knitted cover and 2 kissaluv fitteds. We spent about
$75
We also purchased 6 Gerber diaper covers, diaper pins, fleece fabric (which I was going to use as wipes originally and for $6.00 it made 42 wipes) and 10 receiving blankets (pd $3.10 and they made 114 wipes) and misc. spray bottles and containers for our wipe solution. We spent approx.
$15
So, our out of pocket expense for a lifetime of diapers and wipes...
$230 (about $100 more to = $330 if you count the gifted ones). The resale of the diapers is very high, so we expect to recoup most of our cost for the diapers, if we are ever willing to let them go.
Here's what our stash looks like...
 |
| 114 flannel wipes (these were distributed where needed throughout the house) |
 |
| 17 NB diapers |
 |
| 16 prefolds, 2 fitteds, 9 diaper covers and diaper pins/fastners |
 |
| Flannel wipes and fleece diaper liners |
 |
| Disposable diaper liners and sposies from our shower |
 |
| 10 Alva one size, 6 Trend Lab pockets and 10 Bamboo/Microfiber inserts |
 |
| Spare Fleece Liners, burp cloths and onesies |
 | ||||
| Flannel wipes and spray bottle for diaper solution |
We have purchased a few more diapers thru a co-op, but we only spent $20 more. We have more than enough diapers for our little guy and we can't wait to use them! So...
$330 from birth till he is potty trained...that's one of the ways we "do it"!
Monday, July 16, 2012
The life we live...
It amazes me...after all we've been through in our lives that people would feel we live in the lap of luxury...that we get everything handed to us and that the way we live our lives isn't "fair" because they have to work so hard for what they have.
Four and a half years ago, we lived in a beautiful newly built house in an upper middle class neighborhood. Since I've had children, I've never worked outside of the home. Although, I worked hard for my family, I always have and I always will. I guess, in a sense, I had everything handed to me, but yet, I was never faulted at all for the way I lived my life. I fit in with the "norm". We had the house with the white picket fence enclosing an expensive playset and every outdoor toy you could imagine. Our house was tastefully decorated and we spared no expense when it came time to daunt our children's rooms with a "theme". We had nice cars, we all wore nice name brand clothes and shoes. We ate well, never craving anything we couldn't have. Our groceries were mostly delivered and no one took care of us quite like our "Schawn guy" did. I used expensive name brand cleaning products. It was often hard to chose which family pass we would use or which venue we would seek for family entertainment. We went on family vacations. We lived a very comfortable life financially and we wanted for nothing. I guess I was stuck up in my own little way, downing people who lived below my means.
Then...one day...all of that changed! I realized that our picture perfect family and lifestyle was as far from perfect as you could possibly be. Literally, in the blink of an eye we lost everything and our lives would never be the same! My family went through things that no one should ever have to go through. The fear of losing it all never entered my mind, as the only thing I thought about was everything except the materialistic things in my life! We went from being an upper middle class family to living well below poverty.
Today, I have a new "husband". We live in a house in a lower class neighborhood easily refered to as "the ghetto" I work hard for my family, I always have and I always will. I'm not sure where we "fit in" now, as we are far from the "norm" and we live well below many peoples' means. We do have a fence, but it is just a rusted chainlink fence enclosing the few outdoor toys that our kids have. Our house is not "decorated". Our rooms have no "themes". We don't even have curtains or blinds and the few window coverings we do have are old sheets or blankets. Our furniture does not match and most of the "new" things we get are from someone elses garbage (no we don't dig through garbage, but things are offered to us before someone takes them to the curb). I have a van that gets us where we need to go, we have decent clothes but not very many of them, we have name brand shoes but only one pair each. We eat, but I do often have to say no to things we don't "need" at the grocery store and since our refrigerator can not cool properly in this heat of the summer I keep the bare minimum in it when it is this hot and keep drinks in a cooler so the kids have access to what they want/need without getting yelled at for holding the fridge door open. I don't buy expensive name brand cleaning products, I clean with natural products and make our own laundry detergent. We don't have passes to anywhere, but we look for free places to entertain our family. We don't go on family vacations. The boys in our house get their haircuts in our own kitchen and us girls are treated about once a year to ours. I don't get my nails done or my eyebrows waxed as I used to. We have provided our new son with what he needs by buying everything used or things that were given to us. We will not buy him diapers or wipes, but we have invested in a new cloth diaper stash for him and I can't wait to use his cloth wipes and homeade bum solution. We were blessed with a wonderful shower for him at which time we received a lot of clothes and a new pack and play for him. We are able to pay our bills and provide our kids with what they need without asking anyone for help and to us this is financially comfortable. On more than one occasion we have lost most items we store in our basement due to raw sewage backing up there and on those occasions we've had to shit, shower and shave outside of our home for anywhere from a day to a week. All but one of our bikes have been stolen out of our yard, we keep our basketball hoop locked to our fence. We live well below the poverty level, but yet we do not seek the "welfare" we would qualify for. Instead, we receive the minimum of government assistance available to us. My children are covered under state medical insurance, simply because their sperm donor (aka, the legal father of Macaw, Emu and Duckling) can't exactly provide insurance for them from his prison cell...however, this does not mean we "have it made". Often, we don't have a choice of doctors or specialists and getting medical treatment approved is not always an easy task. Having numerous children with health issues, we are truly blessed with this coverage but it doesn't come easy and we don't always get the treatment we need, or we have to wait an extremly long time for it. We have been appealing Emu's growth hormone therapy for more than 7 months now, Eagle's lung medication had to be fought for as well, and just getting Hawk's allergy medication is quite a task and yes, my daughter does get her braces paid for because they are now a medical necessity however, we did not get to chose our orthodontist and by the time she gets them it will have taken about a year to go through the process. My children are ensured the best education they could possibly get. We are stuck up in our own little way, downing people who live above our means and those who think they are better than us.
No amount of money could buy the love and happiness that fills our home. I want for nothing more than I have today! My children are spoiled, they have most of what they want and they never go without anything that they need. They help those who are less fortunate and they are taught never to judge. My children are not snobs, they care about people for who they are on the inside not how they look on the outside. They have learned that certain people, even family members will look down on us and judge us for the way we live. I hope that they see that the way we live and the house we live in makes us no less than any of "them" who think they are so much better than us.
If we still lived in this house, in this neighborhood...would THAT really make us better people? Would that make us more deserving of respect? Would people be more willing to accept that I make my own laundry detergent or use cloth diapers? Would people assume I live more financially comfortable simply because it "looks" like I do? Would it make it more acceptable for us to get the minimum assistance that we qualify for? Would it make it "ok" for me to have another child? Would it be more acceptable for a grandparent to buy my child a gift, or would that still be considered a handout? Most importantly...is any of that really anyones business?
For the record, I do not get everything handed to me for free and I often live in conditions that most people could not fathom. Falcon and I work hard for our family, just because we don't have the same income as everyone else doesn't mean we don't work hard for our family. For 7 months I handwashed laundry for my family of 8. Not one person who found out about it said they would do the same for their family...does that mean I am more willing to work harder for my family than you are for yours? Should I look down on you because you aren't willing to do the same and work as hard for your family?
We do not ask anyone for help. I do not have everything my heart could desire and I often go without things I need. We do not try and keep up with anyone's "means" so that we are judged to be better people. We live to satisfy no one other than ourselves. Our happiness does not come from the amount of money we have and it can surely not be seen by the looks of the outside of our house and I don't see your family dancing in the rain.
As I look back at what brought us to this point in our lives and compare the life we had to the life we live, I am so very thankful for the broken road that led us here...this is right where we are "suppossed" to be.
It amazes me...after all we've been through in our lives that people would feel we live in the lap of luxury...that we get everything handed to us and that the way we live our lives isn't "fair" because they have to work so hard for what they have. If you want your children to be abused, so that you don't have to pay for their medical expenses or you want to live a life like ours and still strive to teach your kids that there are alway families that are less fortunate than you are...go right ahead and you will see that is isn't as cracked up as it appears to be. Our lives are not easy, but my kids will be better people for it!
One thing is for sure...the way we got here, wasn't fair...but I still wouldn't trade my life for the world. Most people could not walk a day in my shoes but I truly do love the life that I live!
The point is...I wasn't trash or looked down upon when I lived in "that" house with "that" lifestyle. Becoming poor did not change who I am, in fact...it made me better. It just angers me that I left all that behind to do what was best for my kids and now I am judged for it and people look down on me and my family. Instead of people seeing what amazing sacrifices I've made to keep my kids safe and judging me as the mother I am, they feel my kids are being cheated or not cared and we are judged simply because of the way we live now. If you are one of "those" who judge me...ask yourself how you would judge me if I had kept my kids in that house and kept the lifestyle we lived then. If I would have forced one or more of my children to endure horrific abuse so that we could sustain the lifestyle my children "apparently" deserve...what kind of mother would you think I am now, if that was the choice I would have made! .
THINK...before you judge!
Four and a half years ago, we lived in a beautiful newly built house in an upper middle class neighborhood. Since I've had children, I've never worked outside of the home. Although, I worked hard for my family, I always have and I always will. I guess, in a sense, I had everything handed to me, but yet, I was never faulted at all for the way I lived my life. I fit in with the "norm". We had the house with the white picket fence enclosing an expensive playset and every outdoor toy you could imagine. Our house was tastefully decorated and we spared no expense when it came time to daunt our children's rooms with a "theme". We had nice cars, we all wore nice name brand clothes and shoes. We ate well, never craving anything we couldn't have. Our groceries were mostly delivered and no one took care of us quite like our "Schawn guy" did. I used expensive name brand cleaning products. It was often hard to chose which family pass we would use or which venue we would seek for family entertainment. We went on family vacations. We lived a very comfortable life financially and we wanted for nothing. I guess I was stuck up in my own little way, downing people who lived below my means.
Then...one day...all of that changed! I realized that our picture perfect family and lifestyle was as far from perfect as you could possibly be. Literally, in the blink of an eye we lost everything and our lives would never be the same! My family went through things that no one should ever have to go through. The fear of losing it all never entered my mind, as the only thing I thought about was everything except the materialistic things in my life! We went from being an upper middle class family to living well below poverty.
Today, I have a new "husband". We live in a house in a lower class neighborhood easily refered to as "the ghetto" I work hard for my family, I always have and I always will. I'm not sure where we "fit in" now, as we are far from the "norm" and we live well below many peoples' means. We do have a fence, but it is just a rusted chainlink fence enclosing the few outdoor toys that our kids have. Our house is not "decorated". Our rooms have no "themes". We don't even have curtains or blinds and the few window coverings we do have are old sheets or blankets. Our furniture does not match and most of the "new" things we get are from someone elses garbage (no we don't dig through garbage, but things are offered to us before someone takes them to the curb). I have a van that gets us where we need to go, we have decent clothes but not very many of them, we have name brand shoes but only one pair each. We eat, but I do often have to say no to things we don't "need" at the grocery store and since our refrigerator can not cool properly in this heat of the summer I keep the bare minimum in it when it is this hot and keep drinks in a cooler so the kids have access to what they want/need without getting yelled at for holding the fridge door open. I don't buy expensive name brand cleaning products, I clean with natural products and make our own laundry detergent. We don't have passes to anywhere, but we look for free places to entertain our family. We don't go on family vacations. The boys in our house get their haircuts in our own kitchen and us girls are treated about once a year to ours. I don't get my nails done or my eyebrows waxed as I used to. We have provided our new son with what he needs by buying everything used or things that were given to us. We will not buy him diapers or wipes, but we have invested in a new cloth diaper stash for him and I can't wait to use his cloth wipes and homeade bum solution. We were blessed with a wonderful shower for him at which time we received a lot of clothes and a new pack and play for him. We are able to pay our bills and provide our kids with what they need without asking anyone for help and to us this is financially comfortable. On more than one occasion we have lost most items we store in our basement due to raw sewage backing up there and on those occasions we've had to shit, shower and shave outside of our home for anywhere from a day to a week. All but one of our bikes have been stolen out of our yard, we keep our basketball hoop locked to our fence. We live well below the poverty level, but yet we do not seek the "welfare" we would qualify for. Instead, we receive the minimum of government assistance available to us. My children are covered under state medical insurance, simply because their sperm donor (aka, the legal father of Macaw, Emu and Duckling) can't exactly provide insurance for them from his prison cell...however, this does not mean we "have it made". Often, we don't have a choice of doctors or specialists and getting medical treatment approved is not always an easy task. Having numerous children with health issues, we are truly blessed with this coverage but it doesn't come easy and we don't always get the treatment we need, or we have to wait an extremly long time for it. We have been appealing Emu's growth hormone therapy for more than 7 months now, Eagle's lung medication had to be fought for as well, and just getting Hawk's allergy medication is quite a task and yes, my daughter does get her braces paid for because they are now a medical necessity however, we did not get to chose our orthodontist and by the time she gets them it will have taken about a year to go through the process. My children are ensured the best education they could possibly get. We are stuck up in our own little way, downing people who live above our means and those who think they are better than us.
No amount of money could buy the love and happiness that fills our home. I want for nothing more than I have today! My children are spoiled, they have most of what they want and they never go without anything that they need. They help those who are less fortunate and they are taught never to judge. My children are not snobs, they care about people for who they are on the inside not how they look on the outside. They have learned that certain people, even family members will look down on us and judge us for the way we live. I hope that they see that the way we live and the house we live in makes us no less than any of "them" who think they are so much better than us.
If we still lived in this house, in this neighborhood...would THAT really make us better people? Would that make us more deserving of respect? Would people be more willing to accept that I make my own laundry detergent or use cloth diapers? Would people assume I live more financially comfortable simply because it "looks" like I do? Would it make it more acceptable for us to get the minimum assistance that we qualify for? Would it make it "ok" for me to have another child? Would it be more acceptable for a grandparent to buy my child a gift, or would that still be considered a handout? Most importantly...is any of that really anyones business?
For the record, I do not get everything handed to me for free and I often live in conditions that most people could not fathom. Falcon and I work hard for our family, just because we don't have the same income as everyone else doesn't mean we don't work hard for our family. For 7 months I handwashed laundry for my family of 8. Not one person who found out about it said they would do the same for their family...does that mean I am more willing to work harder for my family than you are for yours? Should I look down on you because you aren't willing to do the same and work as hard for your family?
We do not ask anyone for help. I do not have everything my heart could desire and I often go without things I need. We do not try and keep up with anyone's "means" so that we are judged to be better people. We live to satisfy no one other than ourselves. Our happiness does not come from the amount of money we have and it can surely not be seen by the looks of the outside of our house and I don't see your family dancing in the rain.
As I look back at what brought us to this point in our lives and compare the life we had to the life we live, I am so very thankful for the broken road that led us here...this is right where we are "suppossed" to be.
It amazes me...after all we've been through in our lives that people would feel we live in the lap of luxury...that we get everything handed to us and that the way we live our lives isn't "fair" because they have to work so hard for what they have. If you want your children to be abused, so that you don't have to pay for their medical expenses or you want to live a life like ours and still strive to teach your kids that there are alway families that are less fortunate than you are...go right ahead and you will see that is isn't as cracked up as it appears to be. Our lives are not easy, but my kids will be better people for it!
One thing is for sure...the way we got here, wasn't fair...but I still wouldn't trade my life for the world. Most people could not walk a day in my shoes but I truly do love the life that I live!
The point is...I wasn't trash or looked down upon when I lived in "that" house with "that" lifestyle. Becoming poor did not change who I am, in fact...it made me better. It just angers me that I left all that behind to do what was best for my kids and now I am judged for it and people look down on me and my family. Instead of people seeing what amazing sacrifices I've made to keep my kids safe and judging me as the mother I am, they feel my kids are being cheated or not cared and we are judged simply because of the way we live now. If you are one of "those" who judge me...ask yourself how you would judge me if I had kept my kids in that house and kept the lifestyle we lived then. If I would have forced one or more of my children to endure horrific abuse so that we could sustain the lifestyle my children "apparently" deserve...what kind of mother would you think I am now, if that was the choice I would have made! .
THINK...before you judge!
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