|Adoring her new horse|
I had never planned a home birth, this time I did. Just weeks before I was due, I made the decision that it was best to deliver in a hospital. I needed to be closely monitored at the end of my pregnancy, as the stress I was under, put a lot of stress on my little duckling. She was not nearly as active and sometimes she was downright still. I lost 15 lbs. in a two week period. I was physically sick and couldn't hold any food down. Just a few weeks before she was born, I had literally "lost" my pregnant looking belly and was left with a slight hint of a bump. I didn't get to do my belly cast because I didn't even have enough of a belly to do it.
In our state, as part of a newborn's screening, they receive a hearing test. Duckling failed! She showed no nerve response in her right ear. She was deaf. I took the new surprisingly well. Actually, I was completely unphased. I really "didn't care". She was here, she was healthy and that was all that really mattered. She had made it through so much already...her being unable to hear seemed so minor!
I had never stayed my 2 days in the hospital, this time I requested it. The next morning, I received a phone call from my sister-in-law, who said two of my kids were up sick the entire night. I felt my kids needed me and so, I requested to leave. I hadn't named Duckling yet and I was not allowed to leave until she had a name, so we were stuck there for a few hours. It had snowed and I scraped my own windows, so that I could drive myself home from the hospital. My sister-in-law brought my kids to the hospital and then she took my mom home, so that I could drive my son to Children's Hospital, as he was very sick. We were permitted to spend the first night at "home" before we had to return to the shelter.
At the shelter, we slept in a room that was only 48 degrees. When Duckling went for her week check up, she had lost a lot of weight and only weighed 4lbs. 8oz. so she was admitted into the hospital. She was released 3 days later, at which time, we left the shelter and moved in with my parents. I will never forget my in-laws walking in unexpectedly that day while I was waiting for her to be discharged. It was nearly one of the most uncomfortable and uneasy times I have ever faced. It was the first day that I had an overwhelming fear of her safety. This is a fear that will carry everyday for the rest of my life.
|4lbs. 8oz. but yet the biggest bundle of joy!|
|My new hearing aid at 5 months|
|1st Birthday (6-9mo. pants)|
|1st Birthday Jello Cake (food allergies suck, but I didn't seem to mind!)|
|My new glasses - 18 months|